A good person I know just sent me this question on my Facebook page. It's a great question that gets asked a lot, so I thought I'd try my best to answer it here.
There are many different aspects to the issue, so I'll go through them one at a time.
First of all, without knowing the details of a particular situation, I can't address the specific incident and why it might have happened. But, there are general principles that always apply in life.
One, good only leads to good. When you put out positive energy, it leads to positive energy always in all ways.
So if negative energy arises, it's not due to the good that you did, but came about for another reason.
Here are a few questions to ask yourself if you feel you did good and it backfired:
1. If you go back and review your actions, was there a hunch or feeling inside telling you this particular good act may not be a good idea? Sometimes we pick up energy from others but don't pay attention to our intuition. There may have been a number of reasons why this kind act was not appropriate with this person (or group of people) at this particular time.
2. Some people are not capable of receiving kindness. They may have come from a background (such as abuse) in which they don't believe they deserve to be treated well. If they have difficulty receiving kindness, compassion, love etc. they will not be able to show appreciation for something you did and that may cause you pain. They may also try to take advantage of you. But that is their issue, not yours. (Your issue may be: did I allow someone to take advantage of me? If so, why, and how can I prevent it from happening again)?
3. All events can be looked at from different perspectives. Most of us look at events that cause pain and say, "That was a crisis," or "that was a punishment," or "that was a tragedy." But the same events can also be looked at as simply "events." And then the question changes from "why did this happen?" to "What can I learn from this?" or "Who do I choose to be in the face of this event?" By asking these questions you create an opportunity to learn valuable information about yourself, about the people in your life, about the world you live in, and gives you the opportunity to grow. And you decide who you want to be in reaction to the event: do you want to be vengeful, angry, kind, forgiving? It's all up to you. Again, an opportunity to grow.
4. Overall, ask yourself if the good you do generally leads to good results. Are you generally happy and do you generally feel people treat you well? Do you feel that the good you do comes back to you often and in many different ways? If so, an occasional painful result is a good opportunity to ask: Did I set myself up for it? Could it have been averted? What can I learn from this about myself and others to become a better and stronger and more loving person?
I hope you don't give up on being a good person - the world needs your goodness, and the truth is: IT'S GOOD TO BE GOOD!
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