It's Good 2B Good

48 Hours to Air Program on Bullying

Instead of the typical stories done on murders, unsolved crimes and other depressing topics, 48 Hours is changing course and covering an important topic that can help a lot of people: Bullying. The program will air this Friday, September 16th on CBS at 8:00 PM (PT/ET). The program is called Bullying: Words Can Kill and will focus on the pervasiveness of the problems bullying causes due to internet and social media sites added to the already serious consequences of bullying in person. 

We all need to take responsibilty to stop the tremendous pain kids are causing each other. Let's hope this program makes a difference in the lives of huring kids. 

Go here to read an article on the 48 Hours Website.

And thank you, CBS, for using your program to do good!

A GREAT BOOK: THE HIDDEN GIFTS OF HELPING

I just finished an incredible book: THE HIDDEN GIFTS OF HELPING: How the Power of Giving, Compassion and Hope Can Get Us Through Hard Times by Stephen G. Post, Ph.D. 

I am familiar with Dr. Post's work. I first found out about him when I spotted another of his books - WHY GOOD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE  - in a bookstore several years ago. I read it and was fascinated and deeply inspired by it. I then heard him interviewed on a radio show. I felt so connected to him; it was the first time I had heard of someone who also is passionate about inspiring people to be good. So, I called him up and introduced myself because I just had to speak with him. Unfortunately, he lives on the East Coast, so I wasn't able to go to any of his talks, but we have been in touch through email and he has been an inspiration to me. 

Anyway, back to the book: He wrote the book as a result of a move to a new city for a new job. He and his family had to leave a community they had become deeply attached to for 20 years and start over in a new place not knowing anybody. Dr. Post shares the difficulty of the experience as he provides research on how and why helping others helps us overcome difficult and challenging situations. It is full of fascinating data, inspirational true accounts of people overcoming incredibly challenging circumstances, and the saga of he and his family adusting to a new life and how their desire and willingness to help others made a huge difference in helping them succeed in their new environment. 

I highly recommend this book for everyone, especially now while so many are going through such difficult times. You will not regret it. 

You can find the book here

Another Teacher Making a Difference

 

Found this article here from Ode Magazine about a teacher who is teaching kids that loving others is really what it's all about. He's getting kids to make a difference in the lives of others as well as their own. 

Way to go! 

What a Mom with 5 Kids and a Full-Time Job Can Teach Us

Check out this great blog post: How She Does It

Wow! This mom of 5 kids (including 2-year-old triplets) figured out something many people never do: that even with the stress of a full-time job, a husband and 5 kids the best way to live your life is to treat others the way you want to be treated: with patience,KINDNESS, and respect. 

Thank you for sharing your wisdom; your kids are lucky to have you.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DO GOOD AND IT BACKFIRES?

A good person I know just sent me this question on my Facebook page. It's a great question that gets asked a lot, so I thought I'd try my best to answer it here.

There are many different aspects to the issue, so I'll go through them one at a time.

First of all, without knowing the details of a particular situation, I can't address the specific incident and why it might have happened. But, there are general principles that always apply in life.

One, good only leads to good. When you put out positive energy, it leads to positive energy always in all ways. 

So if negative energy arises, it's not due to the good that you did, but came about for another reason. 

Here are a few questions to ask yourself if you feel you did good and it backfired: 

1. If you go back and review your actions, was there a hunch or feeling inside telling you this particular good act may not be a good idea? Sometimes we pick up energy from others but don't pay attention to our intuition. There may have been a number of reasons why this kind act was not appropriate with this person (or group of people) at this particular time. 

2. Some people are not capable of receiving kindness. They may have come from a background (such as abuse) in which they don't believe they deserve to be treated well. If they have difficulty receiving kindness, compassion, love etc. they  will not be able to show appreciation for something you did and that may cause you pain. They may also try to take advantage of you. But that is their issue, not yours. (Your issue may be: did I allow someone to take advantage of me? If so, why, and how can I prevent it from happening again)?

3. All events can be looked at from different perspectives. Most of us look at events that cause pain and say, "That was a crisis," or "that was a punishment," or "that was a tragedy." But the same events can also be looked at as simply "events." And then the question changes from "why did this happen?" to "What can I learn from this?" or "Who do I choose to be in the face of this event?" By asking these questions you create an opportunity to learn valuable information about yourself, about the people in your life, about the world you live in, and gives you the opportunity to grow. And you decide who you want to be in reaction to the event: do you want to be vengeful, angry, kind, forgiving? It's all up to you. Again, an opportunity to grow. 

4. Overall, ask yourself if the good you do generally leads to good results. Are you generally happy and do you generally feel people treat you well? Do you feel that the good you do comes back to you often and in many different ways? If so, an occasional painful result is a good opportunity to ask: Did I set myself up for it? Could it have been averted? What can I learn from this about myself and others to become a better and stronger and more loving person?

I hope you don't give up on being a good person - the world needs your goodness, and the truth is: IT'S GOOD TO BE GOOD!

EVEN A WATERPARK CAN BRING OPPORTUNITIES TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE

Last Thursday I finally took my annual trip to the Wet 'n Wild Waterpark in Phoenix. I love waterparks and try to go at least once every summer. They're great places to cool off, get some adrenaline going, and play or relax in the water. I love spending time there. 

So, I was taking advantage of the last weekday the park would be open for the summer as Phoenix kids go back to school this week. I had nothing on my mind except having a good time. 

And then, out of the blue, an opportunity presented itself to help. I was standing in a very long line for a particular waterslide ride. It's a large round raft that seats up to 5 people and goes around lots of curves as it descends gradually about 4 stories down to the ground. As I was waiting in line I met Trinity, a 5 year old girl who was there with her Aunt Jessica. They were in line behind me. I was chatting with them for a while when I noticed a little girl crying directly in front of me. The young couple with her were trying to console her and trying to talk her into going on the ride. Apparently she was getting scared and had changed her mind about going on the ride. She was also about 5 years old. I watched for a few seconds - and then I got an idea. Trinity had already told me she had been on the ride before and really liked it. So, I leaned down and said, "Hey, Trinity, could you do me a favor? It looks like the girl in front of me is scared. Maybe you could tell her what you just told me - that you went on the ride and it was really fun. Would you do that?" Well, Trinity immediately got shy and shook her head no. So, I thought for a second and asked, "Is it ok if I tell her what you told me?" And she nodded her head. So, I introduced myself to the young couple (who it turned out were her aunt and uncle) and told the 3 of them what Trinity had just told me. Still, the little girl (whose name was Kia) was stll feeling scared and more tears flowed. So, I thought for another moment and came up with another idea: maybe Kia would be willing to ride with Trinity in the same raft. I asked them and they both agreed. The 2 girls started talking and getting to know each other while we waited the last 5 minutes in line.Kia and Trinity ended up going together with Jessica and Kia's aunt while I ended up riding with Kia's uncle and someone from another group. When I got down to the bottom I went up to Kia and congratulated her for her bravery and asked if she liked it. She said yes. I thanked Trinity for the kindness she showed Kia by inviting her to ride in the same raft. 

Although I may have orchestrated the whole thing, it was really the kindness of a 5 year old girl and her willingness to reach out and help someone that led to a happy ending. 

It turned out to be a great day at the waterpark. 

IS OUR CULTURE DESTROYING KIDS?

Well, maybe that's a little too strong. But, I have been noticing lately a lot of negative influences on kids that really bother me. I'll just take one for now: TV shows that are all about practical jokes. They've actually been around for a few years now, but I just caught on. I think the first one was Punk'd, which was created by Ashton Kutcher and aired on MTV from 2003 to 2007. He would play practical jokes on celebrities who were being filmed by a hidden camera and then, when they were extremely angry, upset, and frustrated, he would reveal that it was a practical joke by saying "You've been punk'd!" 

This show became so popular that several countries have created their own version including: Iceland, Norway, Holland, India, Hong Kong as well as an Arabic version. 

In addition to Punk'd, I discovered a show on Syfy channel called Scare Tactics. This one doesn't just bring their victims to a high level of anger, but to a high level of fear. The scare tactics include having the victim witnessing a murder or vicious attack that look real but use actors with makeup and fake blood. Once the person is sufficiently terrified, it's revealed to them that they shouldn't be scared because they're on Scare Tactics. 

That's right. Ha Ha. We were just kidding. Now, this kind of joke does not go over well with me and shouldn't for anybody. What's really going on is innocent people are artificially brought to a high degree of anger, frustration, and fear and then told it's just a joke. 

Well, some people can deal with that situation well, but many can't. Manipulating feelings to make people laugh is just mean and cruel. But to do it with a hidden camera and play it for millions to see is even worse. 

Now, remember, these are adults who are playing the victim and, yes, they do have to sign a release in order for the episode to be aired on television. 

But, I worry about all the kids watching who think it would be a great idea to do the same thing to their peers. Kids are much more sensitive, have lower self-esteem, and are much more vulnerable than adults to being humiliated by their peers. It's not easy to shake it off and move on. Kids can be cruel and often don't think about the consequences to their actions. They don't sit down and analyze whether Johnny will react positively to being humiliated or will he fall apart? Which kids will take it well and which kids won't? 

Kids are so impressionable and are influenced by what they see on TV. They also have phones and cameras with video capability and can easily make their own videos today. 

If we adults decide humiliating people by scaring them out of their mind or angering them to the point they want to attack someone and then revealing it's just a joke, then we need to accept the fact that kids will attempt to copy us. 

Is that what we really want? Is this who we really want to be as a society? Is this really what we define as entertainment? Is this what we consider humorous? If so, I think we have a lot of growing up to do, for our sake and for our kids' sake.

Especially if you care, like I do, about kids becoming good people.

Sedona's National Night Out 2011 a Big Success!

National Night Out 2011 was a big success. I learned a lot from last year and did some things differently. Like last year I went alone. That made it hard to do all the set up by myself and handle all the visitors to my table. But, this year I brought a friend. She was so helpful in so many ways: She helped me set up the table so it looked nice and organized; she answered questions and pointed out the book to people when I was engaged in conversation; she even listened as I rehearsed my first presentation. She was great! I also brought lots of stuff to give away - on the condition that each person do something nice for someone else. I had lots of bookmarks to give away and lots of do good cards. I bought a table top tripod stand for my sign, too. 

There were lots of people and I had a chance to talk to lots of kids about bullying and talked to some parents, too. Everyone was interested in what I had to say and several people came over and told me they appreciated the work I was doing. 

i think many people are inspired when they see that there are people out there who care enough to help kids and are happy to know there are a few of us out there who think it's important to inspire kids to be good people. 

We all want our kids to be good people, right?

BLOWING BUBBLES BRINGS SMILES TO DRIVERS

I got the idea from another website that inspires people to be kind. I've always loved seeing bubbles hovering in the air - makes me feel like a kid again. So, I went to a toy store and found a battery operated bubble gun that shoots bubbles up to about 5 feet away. It was perfect. All I had to do was open up the free bottle of bubble soap liquid that came with it, screw the open bottle onto the bottom of the gun, and voila, it's ready to go. 

So, I started shooting bubbles out my window at red lights. ( I only do it at red lights and I've learned to keep my eye on the light so I'm ready to go when it turns green). People pull up next to me and I almost always get smiles from them. They love it! One guy rolled down his passenger window and said, " That's the first thing that made me smile all day." 

The next day another guy in a truck rolled down his window and said, " Hey, you're not supposed to have fun when you're driving!" Well, my response to that is:  As long as safety is priority #!, why not? 

Driving for many people is stressful and if i can bring a smile to people's faces maybe their mood will lighten up a bit and they won't get as angry when someone cuts them off. I know I'm not going to change the world with my bubbles, but it makes me feel great when I see others smile, it makes me smile, and it does make driving a lot more fun. Try it and see what happens.

IT'S GOOD 2B GOOD IS NOW A BOOK!

IT'S GOOD 2B GOOD: Why It's Not Bad To Be Good was published June 15th, 2011. I am very excited to see the finished product. It came out great! The cover is beautiful and eye-catching and the pictures and illustrations really help make it a great book for kids. Parents will also like the chapter for parents on how to raise a good kid and teachers will enjoy the section on how to increase acts of goodness in the classroom. So far, I have had two book signings and hope to do a lot more. If you know of an opportunity to give a talk on the book, do a book reading or a book signing, please let me know. I am looking for as many opportunities as possible to get me message out. 

Thank you and enjoy the book. It is available at Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com and Borders.com. Please order, read it and submit reviews on their websites. Thanks and don't forget: IT'S GOOD 2B GOOD!